Trust Amnesia

I was thinking about what my posts were like while I was deployed compared to how they are now. While deployed I actually was thinking about various positive things I could write about so that 1 I'd be a good witness, but 2 so that ppl wouldn't worry about me. I think that helped me in a big way b/c it always kept me concentrating on the good that was happening every day. I wanted to be able to share the good things that were going on in my life. There were bad things happening on deployment, just like now that I'm home. I just tried not to talk/think about it and I let it roll off my back. One of my friends has been a huge encouragement lately as I try to decide what to do about the military, family, and various other things. She brought up the point that I've been overcomplicating things - God loves us and He's going to work everything out, and I need to be more trusting. During the process of having visits with my jaw surgeon, I realized how important it was for me to physically hear him say that he recommended the surgery, that things were going to go well, my face would look ok afterwards and so forth. I don't audibly hear God's voice so sometimes it's hard for me to believe that He's heard me, or that He's going to do something. The problem lies with me and lack of trust. I fail to see the big picture and also remember how much God has done for me. I can simply look back a week and see many things that God has done... It's sad how amnesia can strike "perfectly healthy" brains isn't it?